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8 years

by Mar At

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1.
Abyss 00:38
What's this? I have a sudden and uncertain certainty It's here, kicking. It's alive. What's this? I dive deep into abyss, an everchanging sea of words and scent A sea in which I wish to be a fish you see What's missing and /or out of place? - Nothin' It's just my contradicting mood, annoying me as always Although I'm sure that too is changing all days Me? I dream it's true - the uncertaintly I'm feeling That it's you
2.
Answer 06:16
Родился я на этот свет недавно Видал леса и горы и цветы Я слышал воздух свежий, плывший плавно Я знал немое счастье красоты Я рос на каже гречной и на манной С друзьями я до вечера играл Как видешь вырос я вполне нормальным Через игру наш мир я познавал Зима и Лето, Осень и Весна мне Давали много радости и сны О том что сбудеться на этом камне О том что пожелал бы от нас ты Я взростлым стал внезапно, не поняв как Кротка и скоротечна наша жизнь Но вижу часть задачи, что дана мне Спешу свою мечту закинуть ввысь Там за макушками сосен За горизонтом поезд идет Уносит меня он в погоню Дух приклучения громко зовет Там за оградой стоящей Между известным и нет Чувствую я настоящим себя Слышу на все свои вопросы Ответ, ла-да-да Ответ, ла-да-да Море пред-мною предвстало Песок меж тобою и мной Надежда моя собой отгоняла Грустные мысли долой Солнце скрывалось за горизонтом Знойный день стыл Жалко презнаться но мне нехватало Там где я был Там за макушками сосен За горизонтом поезд идет Уносит меня он в погоню Дух приключения громко зовет Там за оградой стоящей Между известным и нет Чувствую я настоящим себя Знаю на все мои вопросы Ответ, ла-да-да Ответ, ла-ла-да
3.
Conversation 05:17
Freedom is the sweetest thing That you can experience Love it thrives on freedom, That is not mysterious Speak to me in nature's tongue I will try to understand Your words, I'm not used to them But welcome them into my heart x2 Friends in life they come and go Whilst, some of them I'd like to keep There were hard and heavy blows Some of which have made me weep Speak to me be close me, be close to me Blood pumping through my veins Feel the beat inside my chest, Leave of doubt no trace x2 Coz' I know, that truth will set me free Coz' I know, there's power in honesty Coz' I know, that truth will set me free Coz' I know, there lies my liberty Thank you for the love you give, That rustles in the trees; You're the voice that's guiding us Hidden in the leaves. Speak to me through blades of grass Early morning's dew Why so inconspicuous? Why do I not feel you? I feel pain sweet pain, = opportunity To learn again How it feels to be. Pain sweet pain, Won't seize to implore Through a conversation That I can't ignore (anymore!) x4 I know I'm responsible, Even if I curse and sulk Even when I blame my life In my wisdom I must trust On my nature to rely Coz' I know, that truth will set me free Coz' I know, there is power in honesty Coz' I know, that truth will set me free Coz' I know, there lies my liberty
4.
Here 03:25
For a minute of my life I am high, I am light Feel blood rush within my chest. Running free, running wild. Birthing truth, erasing lies Shining light on all that's dark I am love and I am kind I'm no longer blind Here I am home Home is where I belong Here I find my freedom Here is where I come from Fingers running over strings, Feeling your voice in my chest If creation's what I seek Then this is where I will rest Speak to me sweet melody It's your voice I crave to hear Amidst the day's calamity You alone I'll hold near Here I am home Home is where I belong Here I find my freedom Here is where I come from In sweet anticipation I Walk you home It late night trepidation I Feel I'm not alone In sweet anticipation I'm Walking home It late night trepidation I Feel I'm not alone, Feel I'm not alone Here I am home Home is where I belong Here I've found my freedom Here is where I come from
5.
In jail 05:30
We all have voices lets make our voices heard Down at the market shouting till our throats hurt Money controls us but we're so blind to see Things that we own end up owning you and me So many lives I've spent chasing my tail You think that you're free, you're in jail Well fuck this I'm not playing the fool I'll go out to my garden and out of this world Running the treadmill until our dying breath In the end we'll be so tired, that we'll welcome death Always in motion, never at peace - condemned Our daily commotions are running us into the grave So many lives I've spent chasing my tail You think that you're free you're in jail Well fuck this I'm not playing the fool I'll go out to my garden and back into my world It does not have to be this way In your mind let your flowers bloom Take a deep breath, inhabit this day Share your secrets, lift your gloom La la la la la.... [bridge] So many lives I've spent chasing my tail You think that you're free you're in jail Well fuck this I'm not playing the fool I'll go out to my garden and into this world
6.
7.
I see a child And goodwill Deep well of emotions fill I see a tender beauty grow I see a heart that's to be known Inside much care I see a spark I see it glowing in the dark Amidst calamity and fear I see a fog yearning to clear In quiet moments I see truth Inside her power, culture, youth I see serenity and peace I see potential, brewing bliss Amongst the trees the water flows Her tears, her laughter, feeling grows And as days pass I long to be A fish in that abyss you see

about

This album describes lessons learned during a period of 8 years. The songs streamed out when they had the chance to do so. I'm blind to some of their meaning but I'm sure it'll become blatantly clear in time.

During the period of 2008 - 2016 I matriculated at University of Edinburgh, met Maria, joined a great band, left said band, started writing songs, finished my degree, spent a year interning in America and a year in London, married Maria and moved to America again. Many, many other significant things happened.

Life during this time has given me a lot, it has taken a lot from me. I became closely acquainted with the meaning of the term "self-inflicted sufferring" and have set the bar of being alive and joyful to previously unknown heights.

These songs are a condensation of that story, for which I am ultimately thankful. It's hard to be otherwise.

It will be unfair not to mention the people who have shaped my experience during this time. In no order of preference, they are:
- Maria
- My family
- Maria and her family
- Original NUF members: Farhad, Ella, Emma, Frank, Hamish, Becka
- Silicon Valley Internship Programme boys: Mario, Mike, Michael Hughes and the rest
- Blading boys
- Cambridge boys
- Friends from UofE
- Misc: SY, Gianluca, Olya, Moshen and many whose names don't come to mind

credits

released August 2, 2016

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Mar At London, UK

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