8 years

by Mar At

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1.
00:38
2.
06:16
3.
05:17
4.
03:25
5.
05:30
6.
7.

about

This album describes lessons learned during a period of 8 years. The songs streamed out when they had the chance to do so. I'm blind to some of their meaning but I'm sure it'll become blatantly clear in time.

During the period of 2008 - 2016 I matriculated at University of Edinburgh, met Maria, joined a great band, left said band, started writing songs, finished my degree, spent a year interning in America and a year in London, married Maria and moved to America again. Many, many other significant things happened.

Life during this time has given me a lot, it has taken a lot from me. I became closely acquainted with the meaning of the term "self-inflicted sufferring" and have set the bar of being alive and joyful to previously unknown heights.

These songs are a condensation of that story, for which I am ultimately thankful. It's hard to be otherwise.

It will be unfair not to mention the people who have shaped my experience during this time. In no order of preference, they are:
- Maria
- My family
- Maria and her family
- Original NUF members: Farhad, Ella, Emma, Frank, Hamish, Becka
- Silicon Valley Internship Programme boys: Mario, Mike, Michael Hughes and the rest
- Blading boys
- Cambridge boys
- Friends from UofE
- Misc: SY, Gianluca, Olya, Moshen and many whose names don't come to mind

credits

released August 2, 2016

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Mar At London, UK

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Track Name: Abyss
What's this?
I have a sudden and uncertain certainty
It's here, kicking. It's alive.

What's this?
I dive deep into abyss, an everchanging sea of words and scent
A sea in which I wish to be a fish you see

What's missing and /or out of place?
- Nothin'
It's just my contradicting mood, annoying me as always
Although I'm sure that too is changing all days

Me?
I dream it's true - the uncertaintly I'm feeling
That it's you
Track Name: Answer
Родился я на этот свет недавно
Видал леса и горы и цветы
Я слышал воздух свежий, плывший плавно
Я знал немое счастье красоты

Я рос на каже гречной и на манной
С друзьями я до вечера играл
Как видешь вырос я вполне нормальным
Через игру наш мир я познавал

Зима и Лето, Осень и Весна мне
Давали много радости и сны
О том что сбудеться на этом камне
О том что пожелал бы от нас ты

Я взростлым стал внезапно, не поняв как
Кротка и скоротечна наша жизнь
Но вижу часть задачи, что дана мне
Спешу свою мечту закинуть ввысь

Там за макушками сосен
За горизонтом поезд идет
Уносит меня он в погоню
Дух приклучения громко зовет
Там за оградой стоящей
Между известным и нет
Чувствую я настоящим себя
Слышу на все свои вопросы
Ответ, ла-да-да
Ответ, ла-да-да

Море пред-мною предвстало
Песок меж тобою и мной
Надежда моя собой отгоняла
Грустные мысли долой

Солнце скрывалось за горизонтом
Знойный день стыл
Жалко презнаться но мне нехватало
Там где я был

Там за макушками сосен
За горизонтом поезд идет
Уносит меня он в погоню
Дух приключения громко зовет
Там за оградой стоящей
Между известным и нет
Чувствую я настоящим себя
Знаю на все мои вопросы
Ответ, ла-да-да
Ответ, ла-ла-да
Track Name: Conversation
Freedom is the sweetest thing
That you can experience
Love it thrives on freedom,
That is not mysterious
Speak to me in nature's tongue
I will try to understand
Your words, I'm not used to them
But welcome them into my heart x2

Friends in life they come and go
Whilst, some of them I'd like to keep
There were hard and heavy blows
Some of which have made me weep
Speak to me be close me, be close to me
Blood pumping through my veins
Feel the beat inside my chest,
Leave of doubt no trace x2

Coz' I know, that truth will set me free
Coz' I know, there's power in honesty
Coz' I know, that truth will set me free
Coz' I know, there lies my liberty

Thank you for the love you give,
That rustles in the trees;
You're the voice that's guiding us
Hidden in the leaves.
Speak to me through blades of grass
Early morning's dew
Why so inconspicuous?
Why do I not feel you?

I feel pain sweet pain,
= opportunity
To learn again
How it feels to be.
Pain sweet pain,
Won't seize to implore
Through a conversation
That I can't ignore (anymore!) x4

I know I'm responsible,
Even if I curse and sulk
Even when I blame my life
In my wisdom I must trust
On my nature to rely

Coz' I know, that truth will set me free
Coz' I know, there is power in honesty
Coz' I know, that truth will set me free
Coz' I know, there lies my liberty
Track Name: Here
For a minute of my life
I am high, I am light
Feel blood rush within my chest.
Running free, running wild.

Birthing truth, erasing lies
Shining light on all that's dark
I am love and I am kind
I'm no longer blind

Here I am home
Home is where I belong
Here I find my freedom
Here is where I come from

Fingers running over strings,
Feeling your voice in my chest
If creation's what I seek
Then this is where I will rest

Speak to me sweet melody
It's your voice I crave to hear
Amidst the day's calamity
You alone I'll hold near

Here I am home
Home is where I belong
Here I find my freedom
Here is where I come from

In sweet anticipation I
Walk you home
It late night trepidation I
Feel I'm not alone

In sweet anticipation I'm
Walking home
It late night trepidation I
Feel I'm not alone,
Feel I'm not alone

Here I am home
Home is where I belong
Here I've found my freedom
Here is where I come from
Track Name: In jail
We all have voices lets make our voices heard
Down at the market shouting till our throats hurt
Money controls us but we're so blind to see
Things that we own end up owning you and me

So many lives I've spent chasing my tail
You think that you're free, you're in jail
Well fuck this I'm not playing the fool
I'll go out to my garden and out of this world

Running the treadmill until our dying breath
In the end we'll be so tired, that we'll welcome death
Always in motion, never at peace - condemned
Our daily commotions are running us into the grave

So many lives I've spent chasing my tail
You think that you're free you're in jail
Well fuck this I'm not playing the fool
I'll go out to my garden and back into my world

It does not have to be this way
In your mind let your flowers bloom
Take a deep breath, inhabit this day
Share your secrets, lift your gloom

La la la la la.... [bridge]

So many lives I've spent chasing my tail
You think that you're free you're in jail
Well fuck this I'm not playing the fool
I'll go out to my garden and into this world
Track Name: What I see in Maria's soul
I see a child
And goodwill
Deep well of emotions fill
I see a tender beauty grow
I see a heart that's to be known
Inside much care
I see a spark
I see it glowing in the dark
Amidst calamity and fear
I see a fog yearning to clear
In quiet moments I see truth
Inside her power, culture, youth
I see serenity and peace
I see potential, brewing bliss
Amongst the trees the water flows
Her tears, her laughter, feeling grows
And as days pass I long to be
A fish in that abyss you see